The application of strange bible verses. Or How OCD can change a man to do crazy things.

The word purify is a curious word in the bible. There are obvious things to be purified from, like adultery, murder, Joel Osteen, every single Jump 5 album ever made, etc. But what about the not so obvious? We turn to Leviticus....

Leviticus 14:33

Cleansing From Mildew

33 The LORD said to Moses and Aaron, 34 "When you enter the land of Canaan, which I am giving you as your possession, and I put a spreading mildew in a house in that land, 35 the owner of the house must go and tell the priest, 'I have seen something that looks like mildew in my house.' 36 The priest is to order the house to be emptied before he goes in to examine the mildew, so that nothing in the house will be pronounced unclean. After this the priest is to go in and inspect the house. 37 He is to examine the mildew on the walls, and if it has greenish or reddish depressions that appear to be deeper than the surface of the wall, 38 the priest shall go out the doorway of the house and close it up for seven days. 39 On the seventh day the priest shall return to inspect the house. If the mildew has spread on the walls, 40 he is to order that the contaminated stones be torn out and thrown into an unclean place outside the town. 41 He must have all the inside walls of the house scraped and the material that is scraped off dumped into an unclean place outside the town. 42 Then they are to take other stones to replace these and take new clay and plaster the house.

43 "If the mildew reappears in the house after the stones have been torn out and the house scraped and plastered, 44 the priest is to go and examine it and, if the mildew has spread in the house, it is a destructive mildew; the house is unclean. 45 It must be torn down—its stones, timbers and all the plaster—and taken out of the town to an unclean place.

46 "Anyone who goes into the house while it is closed up will be unclean till evening. 47 Anyone who sleeps or eats in the house must wash his clothes.

48 "But if the priest comes to examine it and the mildew has not spread after the house has been plastered, he shall pronounce the house clean, because the mildew is gone. 49 To purify the house he is to take two birds and some cedar wood, scarlet yarn and hyssop. 50 He shall kill one of the birds over fresh water in a clay pot. 51 Then he is to take the cedar wood, the hyssop, the scarlet yarn and the live bird, dip them into the blood of the dead bird and the fresh water, and sprinkle the house seven times. 52 He shall purify the house with the bird's blood, the fresh water, the live bird, the cedar wood, the hyssop and the scarlet yarn. 53 Then he is to release the live bird in the open fields outside the town. In this way he will make atonement for the house, and it will be clean."

For all of you who were intimidated(Read:lazy) to read 20 verses of the bible, here's a brief summary:

1. If your house has mildew, you need to tear down your house and replaster everything

2. You then have to kill a bird, take some wood, some yarn, and splatter your house with the bird's blood.

3. You release a live bird out onto the streets to let everyone know that you have a clean house, which is a strange thought considering you just splattered your house with bird's blood. Apparently Mr. Clean wasn't in high supply back in the Old Testament days.

So I thought to myself....well, what would this mean for a guy like me today? And thus began a slightly fun (and incredible self indulgent) adventure.

I started by looking into my room, which is by and all nature a typical guy's room. Some clothes here and there, but nothing that you would call CRAZY dirty or anything like that. I decided that some cleaning of biblical proportions would take place to see if I could create the cleanest guy's room known to mankind.


I began by clearing all the pieces of trash, and books that aren't needed from my desk......



Then moved onto clearing out the dresser and and the bigger dresser:


At this point I'm feeling quite good about myself. My shoulders stand taller, and my thoughts move towards OCD as I start organizing the clothes in order starting with Casual Shirts, Shorts, and Socks:
Feeling even more meticulous, I organize my fun shirts, Athletic shorts, and Swimwear:


At this point, I go ballistic. I start categorizing my athletic shirts into three categories. Philippi Related stuff, Collegiate wear, and Cutoffs:


And undershirts by Color and size:

My hung clothes by Shirts, Sweaters, Jeans, Suits, and Dress Shirts:

My nightstand, guarded by a custom Stuffed Animal that a student in the youth ministry made for me:


And finally, my bed:


Now before you blast my comments post on how really, this isn't a huge accomplishment in the grand scheme of life (True), that this is nothing more than a glorified "I cleaned my room post" meant to make me look good (true), and that this is really a complete waste of time with no theological conviction whatsoever (true),I will make one compelling argument as to why this holds such significance. One point to as why this should be regarded with nothing but respect and positive blog comments.


I'm a guy. Under normative standards, my room should look nothing like this. BOOYAH.


Now I'm off to find a bird and some yarn..............